On Fridays at 10 a.m., I cover the switchboard at the university for our office manager. I kind of like it; I'm a big fan of telephone etiquette. But, you know, I usually only like in for about an hour, then it's boring.
Anyway, someone called today and the conversation went like this:
Ruth (in best Lily Tomlin voice): Thank you for calling UC Raymond Walters College in Blue Ash, how can I direct your call?
Woman: I need to talk to someone in the chemistry department.
Ruth: Okay, let me find that number for you, one moment...*looks for number in large book*...one moment...
Woman (to someone in the background): Talk about pain, my ovaries are-
Ruth: TRANSFERRING! *pushes buttons with haste*
Ew. Did you forget that right at this moment there is an instrument communicating your personal discussion about your sexual organs to a stranger in a (hopefully) far away land? Let me introduce you to a friend of mine---I call him Graham, you know, cause we're close. But most people know him as Alexander Graham Bell. He might be able to enlighten you about how to use this queer invention called...the... I forget. I just don't want to hear about your fallopian tubes before I transfer you to the chemistry department. Good god, why are you calling the chemistry department?
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5 comments:
My favorite part? Besides using "fallopian tubes" in a post? Labeling said post "ovaries". Good grief, how many posts are you going to MAKE about reproductive organs?!
priceless post. you should seriously think about becoming a writer
ok it's 10am on Fridays then but if you hear somebody with a fake American accent on the other end it doesn't necessarily mean that it's me calling. ok?
But if you do find out it's me I promise not to mention the pain that I'm getting in my bowels right now. : )
what?!!!!
Ruth, I always call a university chemistry department (just their general "I have a query" number) whenever I have any pain that can be attributed to one discrete organ. Liver pain? UC Berkley. Lung discomfort? Hello, Iowa State?
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