oh no.

My friend is coming to town, yay liz! to welcome her and her friend catharine, i decided to make a cake, as catharine had once admire a picture of the barbie cake i made for my sister last summer.

but something went terribly wrong. lately i have been continually nagging at tim to help with all sorts of stuff and always end up on the receiving end of a short "no" and no explanation and offer to help in any way.

so i had leave the house a couple times to get eggs, toilet paper, and laundry detergent to wash the multitude of sheets used last night by the five strangers that stayed in our home and secretly opened and drank from a fifty dollar bottle of alcohol (they seemed really nice before we realized that had happened...)...

and i've been running around and finally finished the cakes after realizing that i had barely enough poppyseeds for a poppyseed cake and getting berated by tim because i don't treat tim like a child and S-P-E-L-L things about for him (gahhhh...the laundry needed to go into the dryer first!...GAWD YOU'RE A SELFISH ARSE...)

anyway, the cakes fell. the baking powder must have been old or something, so i ate about a quarter of one layer of cake and watched Love Actually, a movie i've borrowed several times from people and have never gotten around to watching it. tim left to have a drink with his classmates (which was something that he had plenty of time for, but, you know, no time to grab me a dozen eggs from down the block...nagnagnag).

at some point i realized that i am FFFFFFFFF-ing scared sh**less. i am SO SCARED to move to chicago and have to stay on my friend's couch for two weeks (i don't care how good of friends people are, two weeks with someone setting up a pup tent in your living room is a REALLY LONG TIME), i'm scared to travel to chicago by myself next weekend and walk around looking at apartments all day for two days in a row and must absolutely find someplace that tim likes but is close enough to public transportation and remains somewhat affordable, i'm really, really scared to start a new job right when crunch time starts for my future department/employer, and i will be either in the way or (nobody puts baby) in the corner, and not to mention it's higher ed so i have to do a bunch of signing and paper work and health insurance stuff which i've never done before. And then i have to finish oh, two 30-50 page papers, come home from chicago, be totally responsible for packing and cleaning our apartment and making sure our crazy landlady does not screw us on our deposit, and then drive a 17-foot truck to chicago alone (whine whine) and then depend on craiglist strangers to unload the truck for me. in the apartment that i do not yet have.

also, did i mention that tim has decided that he is going to bring in big bucks by spending them first, always a popular business decision. basically, the plan is to spend thousands of dollars. which i will be earning/taking out from school loans. i'm putting my trust in tim that he has a grand plan, knows how this will actually pan out. knows what to do once something is recorded, how to produce it, and how to sell it. sell what? i don't know. i'm not in on the plan. which is a little stressful. it's not tim's fault. everyone who is not a professional musician will always and forever be very confused about how musicians support themselves much less anyone else.

basically what i'm saying is i really hate trying new things.

jezuz, i gotta find some happy music.

infants.

Currently listening to...President George W. Bush during a press conference today. This little bit of dialogue is from the question and answer section with members of the press.

Pres: Yes, Anna.

Anna: Thank you, Mr. President.

Pres: Lookin' good in yellow!

Anna: Um, thank you, Mr. President.

Pres: How's the baby?

Anna: (kindly) She's good. (pause, continues with harsher tone) I know you're just trying to get me off [topic].

(crowd responds with soft titter of laughter)

Pres: Is it true you named her Georgia?

Anna: No. (pause) Is that all right with you?

(dramatic pause)

Pres: Well, it's your baby.

(audience responds enthusiastically)


ZING, Mr. President!

purchases.

tim, mary and i went shopping yesterday.

again.

but before we cleaned out our closets and found 15 button-down shirts tim has not worn in the last 6 months, and i also put a hefty amount of pants that are too small (sigh) and i finally FINALLY through away a pair of jeans that tim has been trying to sneak into the trash since he met me. In return, i purchased the following:

jeans that fit (!)
couple blouses
couple REALLY CUTE dresses for work (red 50ish tank dress and engineer striped shirt dress with peter pan collar)
black cardigan
pair of bright green loafers i've been eyeing at nine west
crisp white shirt

that's pretty good, right? and then i came home and purchased a camera online. wooo hooo!

and just what are YOU doing for the economy? making mortgage payments? ha.

Brilliance for baby.

Stolen from Hannah Beisang.
Originally uploaded by Ruth Ruthie Ruth

I found out a couple weeks ago that my cousin is pregnant! We are the same age, only a couple months apart, and we spent many a summer day with Aaron clambering around in dangerous barns. It's a miracle that only one of us (me) ended up with a large scar and none of us with tetnis

so she posted this pic on her facebook profile and i swiped it. cause it's so cool. and i feel the need to also include a link to this great new album by Dino 5, entitled Baby Loves Hip Hop, produced by Prince Paul, a hip-hop MC who's worked on some of the most substantial albums of the genre since the 80s. Huh? What? Just listen to it. I love the way the lyrics are simply cooed.

A life of fantasy.

Last night we had a great bbq at mary's and decided that if we got a lot of work done on our papers, we could go shopping at the outlet malls on Sunday.

But first, I have to watch dragon. The simple problem solving skills dragon uses makes me so happy. Hmmm. Want to explore the front yard in the dark? Should probably grab the lamp from the living room. Can't get that pesky fly out of the kitchen? How about dressing up like a fly to show that bug how to exit when appropriate? I love dragon.

Moving stress.

The following is an excerpt of an e-mail to kate nydam meberg with couple updates and lots of complaints. If anyone has advice, let this lady know.

oh kates.

the moving...the MOVING! i just realized this little timing pickle:

June first is a Sunday.

I HAVE to be back in Cincinnati for a presentation on Monday, June 2nd. And then go back to work (in chicago) that night/Tuesday morning, cause the whole reason i'm starting in may for this job is because of a huge alumni event june 5-8, so i'm guessing that prep that week will be preety important.

So we have a little dilemma, because i do not feel confident leaving tim to move out of the apartment by himself, or to move into another apartment without hearing him complain about it for years. and we have like, one guy friend in each city who could help unload.

but here's the clincher. TECHNICALLY we have paid through June 15th for our apartment. so I GUESS we could hang out and move on the 3rd...but my big work weekend is the 5-8...i guess i just have to sit down with tim and figure this out. too many variables.

finding an apartment? even more difficult. i am planning a trip to chicago from may 6th to the 8th so i can check out places in person. the one kaye looked at (the expensive one) was too expensive and had small bedrooms. so she's going to look at another on the same block for $150 less. i called another place and i'm really starting to hate the pushy leasing agents. I was like, oh, a dishwasher is a deal breaker for me, and she was all, oh yeah, we would charge you $400 for your cats, non-refundable. what?????

ick. it's hard for me to get work done with this immense project hanging over my head. i just want to figure it out!

i know you're not supposed say "i know how you feel" because true, you never REALLY know how someone feels, but i certainly empathize with you over the ships-passing-in-the-night feeling. but it just shows how much you love and support aaron, and also illustrates the DJ qualities aaron possesses. well, you didn't mean to miss me on the road and you can't control the trains, so let's just hug it out. i could just picture your scrunched up face running to give aaron a hug at the train station after his run. you're just that type of lady---STAND BY YOUR MAAAAAAAAAN!

mmmm. i got a little teary thinking about you at an underground train station hugging aaron in his mylar blanket and skinny mische legs with that song playing in the background. ahhh.

okay, what else...yes, i am shirking work, and i think i'm going to go shopping either saturday or sunday for new work clothes. yippee! and i ran twice this week already!~ woooo hoooo! somebody somewhere signed me up for a subscription to runners world, and it had a great article about beginning runners and how, yes, your first couple weeks will definitely feel bad. which i thought was funny in a "duh" sort of way. but i ran 3 miles (outdoors) on tuesday, cross trained for 60 minutes wednesday, and then did 4 miles (treadmill) yesterday and cross trained for 20 minutes. but my knee is hurting today, so i think i'll rest it, and cross train on saturday, run on sunday. ahhh. that's the ticket!

Thanks, cat.

Woke up at 5 a.m. cause my contacts hurt.

Oh, I'll go take them out.

But my eye still hurts.

Hmmm. I'll go get the eye drops in my bag in the office.

Pad, pad, pad down the long hallway.

Fumble through the darkness and locate bag.

Hmmmm. What's the chunky wet thing under my right foot...

Oh. It's cat vomit.

I better go back to bed.

The view.

I was just watching the View and Laurence Fishburne was on and Sherri started crying because Laurence remembered her talking (yelling across the aisle) to him on a plane a year and a half ago.

And then Sherri started crying was like "I'm so sorry...just sitting next to you and Whoppi Goldberg..."

oh. I love you, Sherri.

More responsibility.

Okay, I just started working volunteering an extra 12 hours a week at the public radio station in Cincinnati. Yesterday I spent five hours updating and double checking punctuation in their databases. I only got to the H's.

But I did get to take a leisurely lunch with the development staff minus the vice president. The people are really laid back and cool, and i got to learn about the enjoyment one staff member takes in driving all over the city (let's call him Mick).

staff member 1: yeah, you know, CNN is going to report on the gas crisis when the price of gas effects how much Mick drives around.

staff member 2: yeah, he knows every street in this city. that's why we call him "mapquest."

mick: yeah, you know, last weekend i went to the film festival up in miami university [northeast cincinnati, not really miami] and i'm not up there all the time so i printed out my mapquest directions and they told me the wrong way to go...they told me to go right...and i should have just gone left because that would have taken me back to 275! so those directions were really wrong.

staff member 1: you know what you should do? you should call mapquest and complain.

Mick: hello, mapquest? this is mapquest. you're wrong.


HAHA!

Recuperation.

I am better.

My hair has been returned to its usual large state.

I spent today finishing old homework and cleaning the cat box.

I just returned from the WORLD PREMIERE of our friend Paul Epp's composition for orchestra & jazz ensemble (at the same time), Divergence. Wow. It was amazing. I personally enjoyed the oboe intermission and the short duet between the trombones and the piano. It was really, really great.

And then I ate Skyline with Mary. Ah. What a day.

Opposite of rejoice. Vomit.

So, um, this is the worst haircut I have ever gotten in my Adult Life. Thanks, Ryan, from Salon Urbanity. RYAN FROM SALON URBANITY!!!!

Yesterday was full of firsts for me:

First free haircut because I was a student at CCM. Should have seen this coming.

Likely the first time I said "nothing drastic. Just a trim."

First time I brought in several photos of the haircut I wanted, discussed at length that I never blow dry my hair, use product, and am extremely low maitenance, and then watched as the hairdresser spent 40 minutes blow drying my hair with a giant round brush and saying "If I had to do this every morning, I'd always be late for work!" ha ha...wait, what?

First time I cryed in a hair salon. In front of a hair stylist. Said "I'm really *chokes up* concerned about this. I know my hair and it's just going to..." *lifts mushroom shelf of hair to show it will poof up*. What does RYAN FROM SALON URBANITY say? "Well, stop doing that."

First time I truely felt like a contestant on America's Next Top Model (other than when I watch Tim strut down our giant hallway). And let me be specific. I felt like that beauty queen from cycle 6 who gets her hair cut off and doesn't stop crying until she's eliminated in the same episode. SOMEBODY ELIMINATE ME.

First time I bawled all the way home from anything other than a junior high basketball game. I cried every time I looked at my hair. Then I put it in a pony tail thinking it would look better, and realized that the mushroom layer at the top of my head DID NOT fit into a pony tail. Then I put my hand around what USED to be my ponytail, and then I cried some more.

First time I scheduled another hair appointment on the way home from a hair appointment.

FIRST time my hair was an omage to Linda, Robbie's girlfriend in the Wedding Singer. Also a cross between Florence Henderson and Jennifer Aniston. Both descriptions were/are spot on.

First time I heard Mary say "it wasn't RYAN FROM SALON URBANITY, was it? NOOOO! Ruth! HE was the one who did that to MY HAIR!" Mary also had to get her hair re-cut after visiting poor RYAN FROM SALON URBANITY who doesn't know how to cut hair or listen to people.

Well, I'm getting another hair today at 3:30 p.m. with Josh from the Chop Shop. Why didn't I just go to him yesterday? The world will never know, and my ego will never forgive me.

Rejoice!

stolen from someone else.
Originally uploaded by Ruth Ruthie Ruth

Okay. I officially accepted my position at the University of Chicago. And i will be starting on May 19 or 20, depending on school work, and will have flexibility to complete my classes.

Why this is PERFECT:
1. Tim's family is visiting for his masters recital on May 15---I would probably cry if I had to miss this. Deal breaker? No, but certainly a reason to pout.

2. I only have to beg pull-out-couch time from Mai and Kaye for two weeks.

3. I will have to time get acquainted with the staff and operations before the development office's biggest event of the year---reunion weekend, June 5-8. Missing this opportunity would seem just as foolish as leaving school without my degree.

4. I'll really only be gone from Cincinnati for about um, 8-9 days? Memorial Day is the last Monday in May, and I have my final presentation in my capstone class on the 30th. Which means I can help Tim move---something I woulld not be comfortable having him do on his own. Cause he already chipped a cereal bowl and broke two glasses. And I think he broke one of my vintage glass popcorn bowls and is lying about it.

5. Also, um, I HAVE A JOB! And I'm going to take the blue line to work like a real Chicago professional. WoooooohoooooOOoooo! I'm really excited. I stole this picture off of the information super highway, and it's (I think) the view from the front of the building where I'll be working.

6. Oh yes. I also have a reason to hit the outlet malls for new clothes.

7. Did I mention I got this job offer on my 26th birthday? Walking through a blooming Burnet Woods with my friend Mary? It was like fate said, hey, lets make this moment as beautiful as possible.

Whenever I have a 'big' year, I tend to think I am that age for several years. In the past, the big years have been 15 (first curfew), 19(first apartment), and 23(first husband...ha hee!).

I think I will stay 26 until I have a child. Which, according to Tim, will be when I am 48. Yay for science.

A Different World.

Well, I am officially responsible. I have received my first job offer from a higher ed organization in Chicago. Which is great! Which means...wait. You want me to start when? You don't know? and I don't really know either? Okay. Well, I'll celebrate when we figure that out. It's hard to settle my mind when I don't have all the information, or can't provide all the information.

So anyway. I am entering a different world, much like Whitney Gilbert, Dwayne Wayne, Kimberly Reese, and in the first season, Denise Huxtable and Maggie Lauten, the young and excitable thespian played by Marisa Tomei.

GOD I LOVE THIS SHOW. Not only is it all set in the 90s, there is always a critical message in almost every episode. AIDS? Homelessness? Tributes to Gladys Knight? Racism in South Africa? Covered. In fact, when Whitley and Dwayne finally tied the not and went on their honeymoon to LA, guess what happened? The LA riots. That's right. They don't miss any opportunities. I have honestly teared up more than ten times watching this show.

Lately I have magically been catching episodes that I have never seen before. How is this possible after watching two shows a day for the last two years? I don't know either. And I'm really falling in love with Winifred "Freddie" Brooks, the political hippie with a poetic vocabulary. In the last two episdoes, Freddie had two killer one-liners:

"Hi Colonel! I'm the world!" - while painted and poised on a pedastal as an impromtu performance piece in Whitley's art show, which inevitably lead to a lesson about censoring art.

"I got you something...careful. It's powerful." - handing Whitley a big crystal as a good luck gift for her new job in New York. Which she leaves after 'a summer' to come back to Dwayne so they can get engaged, and then Dwayne accidentally gives a giant engagement ring cause Ron picked up the wrong one at the jewlery store and then he has to ask for the ring back...and...and...oh...what a show! Man. I seriously love it.

So here's a little gem. You have to watch till the end! Will Whitley marry the future Senator (Byron)? Or does she still have feelings for Dwayne, the skinny Denise-admirer who got a perfect score on his math ACTs?

nightmare

nightmare
Originally uploaded by Ruth Ruthie Ruth

Had a dream about continually dropping a baby into a swimming pool.

for those who know me: i grew up in a swimming pool.

in my dreams, babies mean responsibility.

so i keep dropping my responsibilities in my maturity.

Troubling.

Watched this last night, which also mentioned a recent study done in Milwaukee that found white men with a criminal record were more likely to be hired for entry level jobs than black men with no criminal history. Zowey. Nothing makes me cry more than racism. Which is why I watch my daily dose of A Different World twice a day.

It's that time again.

Birthday time. And I have to share it with two others: brother aaron, and nephew benjamin. so stop buying them gifts! And focus on me, ahem ahem. Here's a simple list for you to follow. No sweets, please.

1. Flowers
2. Homemade Birthday cards
3. Either Season 1 or 4 of Home Movies
4. A phone call playing "Happy Birthday" on kazoo (Julia circa 2006: "I kazOOed YOU!"
5. Not For Tourists: A Guide To Chicago

No, Tim. Buying me much needed running shoes would not count as a birthday present. But unexpectedly cleaning the bathroom would.

Also, here is a reminder of how giving (not necessarily on materialistic side) i have been in the past. Just sayin.

april fools luncheon at work.

1/2 a meatball sub with squid tentacles (olives?)
one slice dessert pizza (tace shell, strawberry jam for sauce, cashew halves for mushrooms, black licorice for olives, strips of lime fruit roll up for peppers, and white chocolate for cheese)
two ice cream cone cupcakes (it looks like a cone, but its, you guessed it, a cupcake)
1/4 cup dog puke (some sort of cheese and meat combination served in a dog dish)
couple bites of plankton (eggplant parmesan)
2 cups of wine woo hoooo!! (non-alcoholic cold duck)

needless to say. i am now repenting with a dinner of fish and edamame. after working out for two hours. ahhhh.

also, i should admit that i am addicted to sugar and snacked on a cadbury carmel egg and a small bag of cadbury eggs at 4:45 p.m. ohhhhh the guilt.

I'VE ABANDONED MY BOY! I'VE ABANDONED MY SON! I'VE ABANDONED MY BOY! I'VE ABANDONED MY BOY!