Missing in the missus.

We've been in Chicago for almost a year, which means it's been about three years since I left behind Fargo and all the friends and memories that came with it. Some of the friends left earlier than I did, and we try to keep in touch. But these are the type of friends that have seen me at my worst, especially Alana, Morgan, and Liz, and still like me. I think. The sort of person that you could be away from for eight years and jump right back into the same stream of sarcasm, gossip, or family stories that you left off with. So important.

I'm having some friends over for Easter on Sunday, and when I was lying awake last night, I found myself wishing that they could ALL be with me, not just one of them (which I do appreciate). Because when I am around these people, I forget about all the complaining, agonizing, and short-lived excitement that tends to get done with friends you see daily. You are just happy to BE with them, SEE them, bask in their greatness.

Hello friends. I miss you very much.


Alana was the first person I took a compliment from seriously. First mature teenager I ever met, first fellow female bass player. In college, we survived being roommates and continued for the next few years to call each other when things either got really scary or really good, as if we were both the only peers that would take each other seriously and without judgement. I called her when I met Tim and realized it was going to stick. First person I think of I think of Bismarck, ND. I hope there is a day when we are making tiny peanut butter sandwiches together, because I remember her telling me that was her goal in life while we were in high school listening to Sleater-Kinney and most likely breaking several laws.

Morgan was the first person that I met as a stranger, assumed she was too cool to be my friend, and then became one of those friends you hang out with in pajamas to watch two consecutive ANTM marathons on VH-1. She seemed to be one of those people that was always in the eye of the storm---calm when others were crazy or stupid. So she could always relate the best gossip later on. She's someone who deserves only the best and I feel very protective of her because I want her to have THE BEST in everything, but I'm not sure why I feel so strongly about this, so differently than I feel about other friends. Also, she's a romantic, and there are so few of us closet romantics left. For instance, I know what song will be playing when she dances with her husband for the first time at her wedding.

Julia, I can't remember how we met. It seemed to be extremely organic. She is the first person that made me realize that I was MORE ME when I was around her. Very Midwest, very comfortable, very creative, very courageous. She embraces craziness in others as only few can, professionally and personally. I have every confidence in her to do whatever she wants, with whoever she wants, and whenever she wants. She also has a pterodactyl cat and was like, isn't this great? Check it out! Extra toes! This can only mean good things! Out of every person I know, she makes me feel the best about myself and others around me. When I see her I immediately want to hug her, pick her up, spin in a circle, and hear about every story I have missed.

Liz is the smartest woman I know. Our best/worst memory is jumping up and down at her graduation party, breaking 100 glasses at Ralphs, and running out the door as if something was actually going to happen to us (we are invincible). First person that told me she did not want to have kids, a choice I couldn't even conceive of coming from such a monogamous small town. First person I knew that traded paperbacks with train punks. First friend to call me Ruthie. Someone I would call to handle something like my house burning down, or an unexpected death very close to me. So, so loyal to friends, that she WILL CALL YOU ON IT. Which is so reassuring in a unstoppable kind of way. Like a family member.

Gwen has the best style of any of my friends. Her haircuts are dots on the timeline of my short life. First friend I wrote two songs about. I have NO IDEA what she will do with her life, as she could do anything that she pleases because she is soooo charming. Her psyche is self-constructed, along with the help of Mister Rogers, and she seemed to have the self-awareness of an aging writer with arthritis when she was 10, something I still don't possess. Accepts both failure and success with a glass of wine and dirty jokes. Someone I look forward to retiring near.

Dana is a New Friend. When I met her, I thought she would be someone else. But she wasn't. She was someone that leaves the house alone and does things without social safety precautions, like excuses or extra friends to entertain her. I've never, ever, not once, heard her actually be sad about anything besides missing a good sale. Does things like falls in love with men that are shorter than her and accepts nothing but the best in dress, food, and drink, all while remaining thankful and amazed instead of pretentious. Oh, and her relationship with the man that is shorter than her is one of the most magical things I have ever seen in my entire life, without a doubt. Effortless, forgiving, continued enjoyment and support that is inspiring to anyone that has been in a four year relationship of any kind. Someone I look forward to being influenced by in the near future. Cross your fingers, economy!


Tim (reading over my shoulder): You're nice.
Ruth: I miss my friends.
Tim: Am I your friend?
Ruth: You're my best friend.
Tim: Do best friends make me lunch?