Opposite of rejoice. Vomit.

So, um, this is the worst haircut I have ever gotten in my Adult Life. Thanks, Ryan, from Salon Urbanity. RYAN FROM SALON URBANITY!!!!

Yesterday was full of firsts for me:

First free haircut because I was a student at CCM. Should have seen this coming.

Likely the first time I said "nothing drastic. Just a trim."

First time I brought in several photos of the haircut I wanted, discussed at length that I never blow dry my hair, use product, and am extremely low maitenance, and then watched as the hairdresser spent 40 minutes blow drying my hair with a giant round brush and saying "If I had to do this every morning, I'd always be late for work!" ha ha...wait, what?

First time I cryed in a hair salon. In front of a hair stylist. Said "I'm really *chokes up* concerned about this. I know my hair and it's just going to..." *lifts mushroom shelf of hair to show it will poof up*. What does RYAN FROM SALON URBANITY say? "Well, stop doing that."

First time I truely felt like a contestant on America's Next Top Model (other than when I watch Tim strut down our giant hallway). And let me be specific. I felt like that beauty queen from cycle 6 who gets her hair cut off and doesn't stop crying until she's eliminated in the same episode. SOMEBODY ELIMINATE ME.

First time I bawled all the way home from anything other than a junior high basketball game. I cried every time I looked at my hair. Then I put it in a pony tail thinking it would look better, and realized that the mushroom layer at the top of my head DID NOT fit into a pony tail. Then I put my hand around what USED to be my ponytail, and then I cried some more.

First time I scheduled another hair appointment on the way home from a hair appointment.

FIRST time my hair was an omage to Linda, Robbie's girlfriend in the Wedding Singer. Also a cross between Florence Henderson and Jennifer Aniston. Both descriptions were/are spot on.

First time I heard Mary say "it wasn't RYAN FROM SALON URBANITY, was it? NOOOO! Ruth! HE was the one who did that to MY HAIR!" Mary also had to get her hair re-cut after visiting poor RYAN FROM SALON URBANITY who doesn't know how to cut hair or listen to people.

Well, I'm getting another hair today at 3:30 p.m. with Josh from the Chop Shop. Why didn't I just go to him yesterday? The world will never know, and my ego will never forgive me.